Well, what I feared the most is about to come to pass. My landlord is not going to renew my lease. She says she going to have family move in. So, after more than a decade she is giving me to the boot. I hate bullshit life this. I have no idea how I will manage this change. But I will try. It’s either I move and find an apartment, or I become homeless. But before that ever happens, I’d take plenty of insulin to end it all. Trust me when I say, I will, because I will. I don’t adjust to change well. Not well at all. I just don’t know. I am overwhelmed.
So here is my attack plan so far. For the month of August, I will start hunting for an apartment. I’ll take a little time and find something. September is going to be pack what I need to pack. Get rid of what I need to get rid of, I’ll be junking a lot of stuff. October will be spent wrapping of loose ends and hiding the bodies. Or you know what else will be next then, if all this shit falls apart.
This experience makes me makes me fully understand how alone, depressed I am. I’ve got zero friends or family who understand that is going on. They all have families to fall back on. I have NOTHING to fall back on but myself or death and buried in a potter’s grave. On a side note, my sugar is really low and my head hurts. But oh well. Do I hope that everything turns out for the best, I sure do. But will it? That is another story.
Now on the money side, this is the part where I am fucked the most. I don’t have tons of money. I live paycheck to paycheck. I’m in debt to my eyeballs. I have no idea where I am going to get all the money to move. I’ve got a couple credit cards; I’ll have to end maxing them out and defaulting on a loan to be able to move. I truly feel that I am totally fucked.
PS: I take Paypal, CashApp and Apple Pay.
