I’ve now decided on a name for my move. I am calling it, ‘The Great Move of 2022″. This really is something I never even considered would happen this year. I have started looking for an apartment, so far, no luck. I’ve got to consider moving to different counties. I might not be able to afford staying in Tampa. My rent is going to increase from 14% to 24% and I have NO wiggle room. I might look at some more apartments online today, but I will kick into high gears in a few days. I’ve also been working overtime (which I fucking hate) in order to save or have extra money. I am usually doing about 1 to 2 hours per day. Although, if we had overtime soon then 7PM tonight, I would probably do OT all day today. I have nothing else to do. It’s not like I got a boyfriend or people who ask me to do go do things. In all likely hood, I would decline anyway, but it is the thought that counts? Am I right? Of course, I am right.
I now have a shit load of boxes that I need to purchase and then pack. I’ll start most of the packing in September. I am overwhelmed still. This runs through my head 24/7. My biggest fear is not being able to find an apartment in time. She knew she was not going to renew my lease before now. She should have told me. I am still pissed off that she never told me, but I had to ask about my lease renewal. I don’t think she would have told me had I not asked. What if I had waited longer than normal to tell her? She’s a nice person but she is also a little shady when it comes to things like that. I’m very hurt and let down. I put up with a lot of stuff in this apartment that I didn’t bitch about, (termites, poor insulation, mouse) but this is how she does me. Not to menti0n this is a shitty time of year to move. I don’t have ONE person who will or can help me. Looks like I will have to do this 100% alone. I have NEVER in my life felt more alone and lost then I do right now. My greatest fear is becoming homeless. As a kid me and my mom where homeless for a while, no one helped us. I will never go through that again. I’ll be dead before I go homeless or hungry ever again. Not going to happen. No way in hell. Never again.
Alright, well I guess that is all for now. Thanks for reading again. I am sure I will have more to come. I’ll just sit here today and listen to all my praise and worship music and see if it will help me feel better, because if He is “up there” He sure let me down about the whole apartment. I think all religion is bullshit, but after years or grooming and religious programing I just can’t let it go, will most the music anyway.
Take Care,
Jack
